What Have You Done to Solange?

So I was supposed to watch this film, or was starting to watch it. In any case, it started with the voice-over, male-voice descriptions that normal movie trailers have. Some of the actual "Solange" and other phrases from the real trailer were in play in my dream trailer, too.

It starts with a husband and wife in their basement. I don't remember if there was dialogue between them or not yet. But then whatever their normal interaction was stops and music begins. I think this is when the movie starts. (so I dont know where the trailer ends and the movie begins?) But the first time I see the husband, I think to myself "he is the one that does 'whatever it is' to Solange."

The basement is small and crowded. The wife is sitting in a recliner in her maroon / burgundy pajamas at the "far end" away from the staircase. I think one of their children is down there, too. When the music begins, the husband moves from being behind his wife and walks away, toward the staircase. I don't know if he goes upstairs or not. The wife is still in her recliner, watching her husband with a smile on her face, very adoring and loving and happy. Thie is when I think I see their child, maybe a teenager. Behind the wife there is small bit of room to walk before the wall and whatever is against it. To the left of that area is a cubby for the washer/dryer units, which later is where the freezer is.

When the music begins, the camera is moving around the room, a little shaky- maybe hand-held, but not as shaky as something like cloverfield. The picture / movie skipped at one point during this short music intro to the movie as though the DVD may have a scratch or it was just poor quality transferrance from it's original film.

The music intro ends, and the husband is talking to the wife at the staircase. However the pajama-wife is still in the recliner, and I am the person the husband is talking to. Maybe she is not in the recliner, but I am not sure....

They are talking about bills and I have some bills in my hand. He asked about one of them, and I (although it still feels like "she" at this point... maybe I am not her until I/she starts to go down the stairs)...anyway the lady said something about taking care of it. The husband wanted clarification and said "So you paid it?" and this is when the woman ... who I am now looking through her eyes... goes down the stairs and says something about "No, but I took care of it." And she starts talking about how the meat was bad and she talked to the people and they took care of it. She said they probably only took about 4 dollars off, but that it was the principal of the matter?? The husband is saying things too, it is a clear conversation, but I don't remember anything of what he said. It was mostly questions. I am looking at the bills while walking down the stairs (the husband is at the bottom of them) and I take a right and walk toward the wife/recliner and go behind the chair to that wall, all the while looking at the bills. When I reach the wall, there is a counter there. I think I lay the bills down and I might mess with some red meats here? I really think so, but I don't know 100%. I go to the left where the washer/dryer is and I am facing away from everyone. (---Maybe now I am the husband....? and maybe when I was the wife- the wife was not there and the husband was there... but now that I am the husband, the wife is there and the husband is not. This makes the most sense because I don't recall the wife being in the recliner when I pass it with the bills to put away the meats. But maybe she was there the whole time, and I was just ME in the dream the entire time)

Anyway- I am now at the washer dryer area and I am putting a couple of large frozen chicken pieces into a plastic shopping bag and I am going to put them into the freezer (not a washer and dryer) but I don't know if I make it that far. I turn around and the wife is standing there, pale as a ghost. Clearly demented or mentally unstable. Her eyes are very wide. She looks like she has barely a thought in her head, very blank but cold and scary. The way I am facing, the recliner is in between the wife and I. She has a couch against the wall behind her and the staircase is to HER left but to the right for me, when I am looking at her. She is standing when I turn around.

There is a little girl about the age of 4 or 5 in a dress who runs from the right of my viewpoint. She maye have already been downstairs or she may have come down the stairs and I not have seen her. She runs in front of the coffee table (which is in front of her mom) and in front of her mom, but behind the recliner over to my area. She doesn't look at anything but the ground, and is playful in her run. She doesnt have an interaction with me, and the wife/mom doesn't seem to notice her at all.

After I watch the girl run through the room, I look back at the wife. She is now crouching and when she stands up (still the blank, wide-eyed stare) there is a very large brown pig behind her. I don't really know what to make of this, so I say something that seems to fit what might happen?? I say "Pig chase !" (at this point, I already realize I should not be here or that I am not the husband, I am me.... in this movie...or in this situation, or that I am me playing the part of the husband)

The mom and the girl get excited, but it seems fake... almost mocking (the girl is now taller/older and barely shorter than the mom). We all somehow run ourselves to the corner of the small basement that is directly across from the stairway entrance. The women's faces have changed. They still are wide-eyed, but they are now smiling. Their skin is saggy and tan/leathery.. but still tight against their face at the same time. Maybe like what a mummy, corpse, or zombie would be like. Their smiles / teeth are protruding out of their mouths because they don't have enough meat on their face, I suppose, to make their teeth look normal?

They are smiling and laughing with these hideous faces, and I don't know how to deal with this (because it's quite scary) so I try to make the same face and be excited like they are. The wife says to me "nice impression." The pig is somewhere around and I think I made fake gestures on the pig of cutting him open and his insides spilling out... I didn't really cut the pig, but I guess the women were excited and I wanted to mimic what I thought was GOING to happen once we caught the pig in the pig chase. I wanted to keep them happy with the pig chase excitement because I suppose I didnt want them to turn on me and hurt me. After much of the "excitement" in that corner, I wake up. It was too scary to sleep through. Haha

Baxter, the supermarket, and I hate guys

The night before last, I was with Baxter in a grocery store. I was shopping with someone (Maybe Daniel) who was going around getting the items, since I had Baxter. I knew a tomato was on the list and thought I would help out and go get one. Baxter and I headed toward the fresh produce. He was very good going down the aisles. I thought he would get scared, but he didn't. When we got to the produce, Baxter jumped on some of the greens and jumped again (this time, very high up) onto some more greens. I knew a dog in fresh produce was a bad idea, but this was overboard. I quickly got Baxter and I out of there in hopes that we didnt get caught.

I had a digital camera and was showing someone (Marilyn ir Kyle?) pictures on it. I was going through one of my mom, someone else, someone else, and then Baxter. When I got to Baxter, the person was supposed to be happy, but they werent... or I didnt make it to his photo before something happened.

I was with my mom, and we were leaving the store. Mother was ahead and Baxter and I were about 30 seconds before reaching the door and Baxter peed on the floor. It was right next to a bathroom, so I wasnt too upset. I just went in the BR and took some toilet paper to clean it up. An old man had walked by just after B peed, and commented on it. He was making a joke or being sympathetic. He was being nice instead of scolding me, like he could have done.

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Last night I remember in bits. I was in a car with someone. The other person (a guy) was driving. I was coming up to the house of the guy I was dating. I called him, and he said something like he was there but on the floor? He sounded sleepy. I pulled into his car lot (which was fake plastic turf grass stuff, the light green shiny stuff). His car should have been there if he was there, so we pulled in the lot and I told the guy to turn around and leave since he was not there. But then later I realized maybe he WAS there and we went back. For some reason I knew this guy was seeing another girl. I told him I wanted to pick up some of my things that I left there, and he wanted to get them himself. I said not to bother, we can go together, and he was uncomfortable, but laughing at what he knew could potentially happen. I went in the room, and there were female clothes on the floor. I pointed them out and he just laughed it off and shrugged maybe. He really didnt care that he just got caught. I started gathering my things. Mostly coats, I saw some bras on the floor that were like mine. I picked them up and he said they were hers. I looked at the size, and they were not my size. But later I did find a bra that WAS mine and grabbed that too.

I dont think I ever left with my stuff. His place was very indoors and outdoors at the same time. A train ran right through his place, right at the foot of the bed. And there was a part of his house that was OVER the train tracks, too... so the train also passed UNDER the house. And across from the foot of the bed was a brick / stone opening that lead to a sewage underground walkway. Something bad was happening... I dont remember what it was. The guy was trying to hurt me or ... maybe he was chasing me. I dont recall what or why. There was another guy there, who at first I thought "Yes, he can help me." And he seemed like he wanted to at first. But then he grabbed me and pulled me in close to him. He was talking quietly in a mean, threatening voice. The other guy came up behind me and they said they were going to both have sex with me at the same time, and somehow I managed to get away from these two. I remember running through the house a lot, screaming at the top of my lungs. The guy I was dating was gaining on me. His house was like an obstacle course with no clear path to run. I kept having to open doors, run around items and walls, jump over things. When I got to the room with the sewage walkway, I went in there. I think I was starting to wake up at this point, but I remember trying to take a tunnel that they wouldnt think I would take.
....Maybe the running bit was just before I ran into the guy that I thought would help me, but I can't really recall. It seems to fit both scenarios... except that the guy that I thought would help me was in the room with the passage way- so if I was running from them... I wouldnt eventually REACH the passageway, I would have already been there.

Mah Teeth!

Somewhere in my dreaming last night, I was doing something to try to straighten my teeth. I noticed they were kind of loose and sticking in odd directions. This is not the outcome, I was hoping for. I took of / out the thing i was using to try to straighten my teeth, and they - in fact- were very loose and one of my front top row teeth fell out. It was on of the 2nd inner-most/ front-most teeth. One of my front two teeth (the one next to the one that fell out) was sticking way out, almost straight out, instead of down. When the one tooth fell out, it straightened and my teeth were immediately looking better. I saved the tooth that fell out and put it in a baggy in hope that a dentist or someone could put it back in. My teeth were larger than normal, too.
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I was around Kish a lot in this dream. There was some woman (maybe her mother?) that was trying to find someone's name in order to get an email or (or for?) an invitation or something along those lines. She couldnt think of the woman's name and her, Kish, and I (and maybe others?) were trying to give her as much other, outside information that could help her find the woman's name. Like daughter's names, daughter's friends names, along those lines. I left without her finding it out.

I went somewhere... and somehow later went to a house for whatever reason. Kish was there with some of her friends that I did not really know at all. People I had met maybe once before. They were having some sort of sleepover. I remember thinking 'Didn't Kish tell me she was doing something else tonight?" But neither here nor there, it didn't bother me too much. I feel like there were ghosts in this house? But it's just a feeling I have now, and cannot remember any part of the dream to support that feeling. Upon being in that house, I had talked to someone or overheard something that told me the woman's name. So I went to Kish and told her the name and said if her mother still needed it, she should call her and let her know.

I have a strong feeling there is a lot more to this dream I don't remember- but should remember.

Past dreams again

Yes, I have been slacking on blogging my dreams.

A few nights ago I had a dream where I was talking online with Myk and Jared and then we all met up. I dont think Jared and I had started a relationship but we were talking as though we might.


Last night, I had a dream with me, Amy Glew, and some random guy, who I am sure had some latin american or hispanic descent. Someone we or Amy knew was getting arrested or pulled over not too far from where we were, and he told us to walk away. So we started to. I got into a car, Amy in another, the random guy didnt make a decision one way or another, I think. I dont really remember what happened to him.

Later I had a lizard, some frogs, and some crickets in a cage. The crickets were multiplying like crazy and I think the frogs also were reproducing. It was Amy I believe who pointed it out to me. I was thinking "aww, they are having babies." Before I noticed I even had these animals, I think I was talking to Daniel McClure and I have no idea what was being said. There was a girl near us and she had a glass eye with a fish on it, I think? I started trying to show Daniel the fish or started trying to mimic what I saw with the fish? Maybe he and I were talking through some sort of webcam or phone, because I dont think he was physically there to see this fish.

Later one of my frogs was jumping up at me trying to latch on to me. I was annoyed at first and then Amy said he was trying to tell me something. So I let it latch on and it somehow led me over to the cage and was showing me some crickets giving birth to baby crickets. I said something like "Aww" again and the frog made a gesture like "No ! This is bad!" And I guess he was telling me it was a mistake or I was a bad "mother" to let these crickets have all these babies. I think the frog squished a cricket for extra emphasis, and I think I squished one or two also.

Un-Blogged Yesterdays

Anywhere between the 9th and 17th of November:

I really dont remember much of this dream anymore. I know that Daniel was always there, but he wasnt a huge role in the dream. I was talking to someone in the dream, and maybe it was his brother Kenny? But this is quite vague and does not ring a bell. Just going off the imagery left.

The morning of Nov 18th:

I was on a movie set. I was an actress in the movie. I was playing the role of a girlfriend to some guy. There were two male characters and another female character. I was playing the character deranged or mentally unstable at one point because it was the way I made sense for the other girl to be living with them and for my character to be able to accept it and live with it.

The director then told me the other female was there because me and my boyfriend and his friend had kidnapped her. And he also said my character was based off something in his real life, and I got the feeling the whole scenario was based on something that happened to him.

Daniel McClure was there, and I am not sure if he was just there or if he was the director or crew or an actor. One of the other actors on set started talking to me and flirting with me. Daniel was getting upset at this. The actor said "If you ever want to hang out with any hockey players, we should get together" Or something along those lines. I found this question absurd and looked over at Danny and started laughing at the guy and his question. The actor didnt seem to notice I was laughing at him.

Later the movie set people, me, and Daniel were eating lunch at some diner place. We were looking at the menu trying to decide what to order. I think I was wanting something like a Reuben (when do I not?). I forget if anything was said here or anything significant happened.

At some point it was just me and Daniel. I was reading his dream journal, and I was specifically reading a dream he had about aliens. He was being taught things about aliens by an alien in this dream, I believe. He had drawn a picture of an alien standing over a black circle and it was to document their reproduction methods. He had written that they reproduced by spraying black liquid that tasted like "esetser." Or was "similar to esetser." ... Whatever that is. There were other details I read over, but I do not remember them. I had taken my glasses off and I could see very well without them. I started talking to Daniel about the aliens and started to say I was an alien. He was startled / confused / scared at this. I put my glasses back on, and they were darkly tinted. I could barely see through them at first and then soon I couldnt see through them at all. I was trying to say things to make Daniel believe I was an alien... I used the word esetser. He started to believe me, and I did not want to scare him- so I stopped. I took my glasses off and I could not see without them. Then Danny started to say he was an alien and he moved across the room toward me. I think his eyes had changed. I want to say during all of this he was really drunk or high - that is why he was able to believe that I was an alien so easily. He was coming toward me and was saying "It's okay, I just really love you" or "I still love you." or something like that and then kissed me.

Fin.

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Last night:

I was with a group of people who were doing something for school or a contest or I don't really know. It was definitely a contest. Amy Glew was there and a guy and I think another girl. There were mini-reels and candy. We were trying to clean up whatever it was we had done and if we could not find everything we had, we would fail the contest or class. But we couldnt find the reels or the container that was to house the reels. Amy was gathering most of the candy and putting it in her red bag/purse. I was putting some flat, circular, wrapped chocolate candies in a container that fit their shape exactly.

Our group was sitting on a bench, and the guy was reading something off a paper. I had the paper first, and it had dots and waves on it that were to symbolize sounds and music and we were to guess the song based off that. I made a guess. I was sure it was a march and could decipher some of it for certain and recognized the sound, but couldn't place the title yet. I think I made a guess. This is when we are on the bench now, the guy is looking over it. It's me on the left, the guy to my right, Amy and the other girl to his right. The guy is holding the paper, and we are all looking at it. Underneath the dot waves there was text. He started reading the text and it was the words from my guess. While we were looking at the paper, I put my head on the guy's shoulder because he was close and I was kind of tired. It felt nice, but I picked my head up because I wasnt dating this guy and didn't want to date him and thought that might be misleading. After I raised my head, he scooted his body closer because he wanted me to put my head back on his shoulder. I don't think I did. I think this is when we started cleaning things up to turn them in.

Where our group was located was on the far end of a campus or something... on the corner of a dead end. A lot of cars were coming down in front of us and doing a U-turn to be facing the direction to get out of the place. I saw Katie Williams driving a magnum-type vehicle and she did such a U-turn in front of us. There was a back-road that people could have turned left on instead of doing the U-turn. Maybe people didnt know where it led, or maybe they knew where it led and it wouldnt take them where they wanted it to. There were cars parked on this road, though. I remember a few of them and the most forefront vehicle was a large blue truck.

I was at a party with Katie Williams. I dont think I knew anyone there, and it also feels like she didn't know anyone there. We were there through friends of friends. It was more like a shower or celebration instead of a college party. There were older people and families/ relatives and such.

Katie at one point had a chunk taken out of her back? I dont know if it was a scrape or a bite, but she was concerned. Everytime she looked at her side/back she couldnt see it. I told her it was because you look at it one way and it's smooth (her view) and if you look at it another way, you can see the skin and blood. She went to a bathroom to look at it in the mirror. There were already maybe 3 people in the bathroom and she just kinda stood there looking at them like "Okay! You can leave now, it's a bathroom. Clearly I want privacy" And they left. I saw her go into the shower stall behind the curtain while they were leaving. Why? There is no mirror there !! She was also complaining about her boyfriend Justin, but she called him something else. A pet name maybe... started with a J. I wanted to tell her to just break up with him, but I knew it wasnt the right things to say and didn't.

While I was there Danny McClure called. He was going to come by my place for some reason, and I wasnt there. I figured I could beat him there so I told him I would see him when he got there. I gather my things from the place, and it's a ton of stuff. Games, books, mini-shampoo bottles. I can barely hold it all in my arms. I make it outside and Katie is walking one way toward my car and I am walking another. We both realize that neither of us are headed in the direction of my car. We look around frantically, clearly lost. A woman walks by and says something about a car that was towed away because it was not parked in visitor parking... or moreso because it was parked in renter or owner parking! I was so upset that my car was towed. Like really??

I thought "Well, since Danny is on his way he can help me get my car back." And I call him to give him different directions. I tell him to take the opposite exit for the 100 and we hang up. Later I realize that He doesnt need to take the 100 at all, because where I am is south of the 100 off the 97, and he will already be on the 97. I think I try to call him, or at that time he starts calling me?

I vaguely remember "only liking one person" and that person being Vince from work. I dont remember when or why, but it either stopped or transferred to Michael Pangilinan. He was some sort of coach or athletic person. Someone at one time said he should retire. A woman in his team or group said "No, he can't. We need his strength" And I thought to myself "Really? His strength?" and that they could find someone with more muscles and strength than Michael. For some reason, I was showering in shower stalls. There were two other girls showering in stalls next to mine. My towel kept falling off the door, and at one point almost jumped off at me. I asked the girl next to me if hers had done the same. I think she said hers had as well.

There was something about people in bird costumes. I think this was before I transferred affections to Michael? Anna and Kevin were talking about me... something about me not being able to be the main character bird, because I hadnt been around Anna didnt know what Kevin was going to do if I couldnt? And Kevin said he already had someone that was going to be the main character bird. I was a little sad, because I didnt want to be replaced, but at the same time knew the lead character had singing parts, and I didnt want to sing in front of people (and Lord knows I dont sing that well). There were a lot of people in bird costumes, and I think they were all types of Love Birds?? Most, if not all the birds, were paired off. I remember the two main birds were black with white chests.

Eventually, there was a large group of us in a lake. At first it was three guys having sex with different women. All the women were in black bathing suits and I think all the men were in black dress suits. The men had not had sex in a while, for whatever reason. They were holding out for something, but this was them finally letting themselves. I think they were some of the bird people. Anyway, they would go through women; they would have sex with one, she would disappear, then another woman would appear for them. Later there were a lot of people in the lake, and I was there, too. I think other people were having sex around me still, but it wasnt anything odd or strange. I was moving to stay afloat, because my feet could not touch ground. My feet did keep touching a fishing net, and other things. I think maybe seaweed or I dont know what it was. I didnt like that my feet were touching things. People referenced there was a boat underneat us. I looked down in the water and couldnt see anything because it was brown murky lake water. At one point I saw a black hole/circle down beneath me in the water. There was a red light in the middle of it, which I attributed to a reflection off something above water, but I didnt like being near it just the same and swam away. I saw two fishing bobbers (both orange and white) floating past me. It was being pulled, and I didnt want to get caught by the hook, so I was trying to figure out which direction it was being pulled from so I could get out of the way. As I turned around, a woman on the shore was pulling it in, and trying to get us to come in from the water. I think it was Joy from work. But also could be my mother? Someone else was pulling the other bobber/lure in from the shore as well. I swim to a certain point then decide to stand up to walk the rest of the way out. When I stood up the water barely came above my ankles... don't ask me how I was swimming in that shallow of water. My bathing suit was light blue, and I was pulling it because it was sticking to tighltly to me from being in the water. The top was displaced from being in the water then getting out, and my right breast was exposed. I tried to cover it back up nonchalantly. I dont know if anyone saw, but I was quite unhappy that it happened.

I dont know if this is the same dream or a different one... but I remember my sister and one of her children (maybe Adeline? but it's ambiguous, and coule be Julianna) were at the bottom of a pool. There were leaves at the bottom of the pool as well, but not many. The two of them were drowned. I dont think they were dead. I got someone to dive in and help me get them out. The other person was successful in getting the child out, but I was having trouble getting my sister out. I cannot sink very well, and was struggling to make it to the bottom of the pool. When I managed to make it, I couldnt get a hold of my sister, as she kept moving with the displacement of the water. Both her and the child were very very tiny in size. Maybe a few inches in height at most for sister, and 1-2 for child. They eventually both are rescued from the pool, and I have no idea if they drowned or were still alive.

After that, I was driving somewhere. I was driving up a hill on a paved road with grass fields and green trees around. There was a white car coming DOWN the hill at me. It was a one-way, and I didnt want to get hit. I thought maybe he was doing it on purpose. I pull off the road quickly and run into some brush, but nothing like a crash. The guy kind of crashes, and since I think he was driving suicidal, I pick his car up and face it toward the lake / ocean / water that was nearby. He soon revs his engine and speeds toward the water and crashes in. The car upon closer proximity, was white on top and a darker color on the bottom, with alternating stripes to segue the color change. It was large like a buick or lincoln. An older model, with a rounded body- not boxy.

I didnt want to be connected with letting him kill himself, so I drag my car and try to walk up the hill on the grass. It soon gets very steep and I am having to grab chunks of grass to hold on. Soon I decide it's not worth it, and back down the hill. I head over to where the guy crashed into the water. There were some people there trying to find his body. This water was FULL of leaves. They couldnt see a path that his body made, and it was overwhelmingly hopeless to search through all the leaves. I walk a few steps over from where they were kneeling, and see the path his body made and see his body lying there. I point it out. He is a black man wearing an orange jumpsuit. He is lying flat on his back, eyes closed, looks dead but I don't know if he is or not. I think I leave after pointing him out.

Vertigo

i had people after me in the dream.
i was in anna's townhome, altho it didnt feel like it immediately upon waking or during the dream. i just realized it after the fact. which is weird, usually i know where i am but it looks nothing like it, in this dream i didnt feel like i was at home, but... in waking life it turns out i was.

moving on, i hear people outside, and i see a girl and i think a guy. they have a pickup backed in into a parking spot in front of my window. the girl has a shotgun. she sees me, altho i didnt think she could. she continues to point the shotgun at the window/me and wants to shoot me. i dont think she lets a round off, but either way i know they are after specifically me. i go to the hallway and peek downstairs. i dont know if i have a knife, but maybe i do. it's dark downstairs and in the middle of the "eye shot/ picture/ framing" there is a light that is circling ... like a turning spiral. it doesnt get very large, but the light continues to swirl. it is very faint. almost like my eyes are playing tricks on me. then all of a sudden my eyes focus in on this floating contraption. it has no markable shape, but it is floating and then readies itself to shoot something. i see it aim at me, and i run. it fires, and a spear -like for spearing whales or something- comes after me. i miss it's initial aim but once it is upstairs it turns and faces me again. i run into anna's room (altho it's my room in the dream and is completely empty) and shut the door. the thing shoves into the door and is stuck. Phew saved! Or not? Something else is after me, and i dont know if it's the same spear or if the people are shooting things at me from the floor below? I make my mind up to jump out the window (right into their laps) because basically there is no where else to run besides right into flying spears ! the window is long, rectangular and it opens tilting up and down. i tilt it out, and get partially out the window. i start praying for God to help me get on the roof, and I hope they dont see me. Then it's like I keep making different decisions and they keep seeing me, yet not seeing me. And I wake up.

I really didn't think I would remember this much...

Snippets of memory, not flowing but somehow connected.

I was in a place where I think I was going to pay a medical bill. I could not find the papers I needed to fill out. There was a table with papers but no papers that I needed. Another lady was there who was going through the same frustration as I was. There was a lot of junk on the table with the papers and I decided that the junk (that was not supposed to be there, and was more likely customer-placed and not employee-placed) that junk was covering the papers. So I started throwing things around trying to uncover what was undearneat, and I found the papers. I got one for me and one for the other lady.

I was still at this place and sitting across from who is supposed to be John Cusack. He is pale-skinned, balding, with wild hair where there is hair. More akin to an older version of Col's old roommate Peter Gabriel than John Cusack himself. Aaaanyway-

Cusack and I were talking, well, he was more mumbling to himself. Clearly distraught over something, probably trivial. I grabbed his arms consolingly and said something to him that made him ease up. I have no memory of what I said, but it was something like an inside joke between us, or clearly something that let me know that we knew each other. He grabbed my arms mirroringly and was smiling and being nice. Evidently we were in a relationship, or this is when I realize we were. I think we decided to leave the place.

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I was walking to my car from some building, MAYBE the Clinic/Bill place, and maybe the house that is mentioned later; I really dont know. I walked straight out and then looked to my left and my car was pretty far to my left. I was thinking "I could have made a bee-line to my car" but then realized somehow it would have been the same amount of distance to travel.

I dont know if I drove my car away or if it was already parked away from the rest of the cars, but sobeit. I wanted privacy because I was changing clothes in my car. I dont know why I was changing clothes, but I do recall when I didnt have a shirt on and hadnt put the other one on yet, a girl I knew was driving toward me and parked right by me. She also was going to change clothes though, and was just parking away from the mass of other cars for privacy. So I guess since I was changing (and she clearly saw) then she didnt feel so bad either. Later someone had commented (and almost commended?) me and the other girl for changing in the parking lot. It was economical in some way or saved on time or something?

(not sure if these events are at the same time, or two separate events)

While in my car, I had let my brother's cat Diego loose accidentally. I had to chase him down screaming his name. He didnt get too far before he stopped for me and I scopped him up and put him back in the car. I felt bad for leaving him in the car while I went to do other things, but I really didnt know what else to do with him. The windows were cracked slightly and I remember thinking I didnt think he could escape again through them. It was also cloudy and maybe rainy, so it wasnt sweltering hot, and I am sure Diego would be fine. But I still felt bad.

-----------------

I was in a house with a few other people. I had brought in a long, relatively large box that had some food in it. Everyone was supposed to bring food, and I think they were all leftovers? The other people there were saying something and evidently they thought I had brought desserts or pastries. I am not sure what they thought- part of me thinks they were unhappy that I brought desserts, but then I also remember them complaining that they didn't have enough? Maybe they were upset because I wasnt supposed to bring pastries and they thought I did... moving along. I assured them I hadnt, and it was main course foods. Then it was brought up that Cusack was supposed to bring the desserts. He wasnt there yet, and I cant recall whether he had a lot of cakes, or he used to have a lot of cakes but was depressed so he ate them and now we werent going to have as many as we wanted?? Something....along those lines.

I am sure I was still in the same house with the same people? I was pointing out the window at some passers-by and saying "That one looks like Jared." And I think it was my co-worker Amy who was one of the people and I was telling her. She was trying to clarify 'The one that was jumping?" and I said "No" and she made a hand gesture on her shirt to mimic color stripes and said "The one with the pattern?" And I got confused and said 'Yes, but he wasnt jumping." and I couldnt remember if he HAD been jumping or if she was making the stripes on the OTHER passer-by's shirt. Jared had a navy blue and white horizontal striped shirt, with large strips, so large there maye have only been the two patches of color. The other one that I thought was jumping had horizontal strips with a lime green and white, but the stripes were much smaller. Amy's hand gesture was large and made me think she was coloring a larger stripe.

I went outside for some reason, I think? Maybe this is when I go to the car, but I dont really remember? Somehow I run into the guy and it is Jared. We are talking and I dont remember anything that is said, but we were kissing at one point. I remember being in the bathroom with him also, and he was sitting on the toilet backwards/facing it, like you would sit on a chair backwards to be casual. He was facing the wall, but looking at me. I for some reason didnt have pants on, and I didnt like that he was looking at me without pants. It made me uncomfortable. Some water and stuff was coming down from the ceiling in the bathroom and I was trying to avoid it, but it was moving and I was moving, and I walked right into it. Grrr, so much for trying to avoid it.

(back in the main area)

Matt T was also there (as were the rest of the guys), but it did not look a thing like him. He was telling me they were going outside to take photos and I was welcome to go also and take some, so they can get everyone in the photo. Jared stayed inside and he was lying on a couch with a girl, and at one point I think he was a girl? I was talking to him, and dont remember what was said. I went back to the origination point where the food was brought out and I was talking to Amy, this is also where Matt told me I should take the photos. I was elated and thinking to myself, "Maybe this isnt going anywhere, maybe this is just for me to get closure. But either way, I am very happy"

I then go outside for the photos. Someone says something to me about not having a camera, but I was going to use the one Matt had, so I thought "youre silly" but then ran back inside and grabbed my camera anyway so I would have some of my own and I said something about that very thing and that I wouldnt have to wait forever to see any.

There were a lot of people outside, many with cameras. It was a grassy yardy area like my backyard on Milby. But the house would have been where Jillian's was, leading into the yard from the backside and not from where the house normally is on Milby. There were a lot of neat things around and I was taking a lot of pictures of everything around me, as were the other people. I was having a good time taking the photos.

The Hef

I was in a large house in an upstairs area with other people. I think I was at a female friend's house, but at this time I don't think that matters. I was hanging out with Ben R and he went somewhere and was gone for a very long time. There was some sort of gathering going on outside in the yard. I had a nice over-view of the area where the things was going on. I think at first it was a big tennis match? but later it was more like a photo shoot or a film being made. I am thinking more of a photo shoot. It was full of scantily clad women, and I began to be sure that's where Ben went. I got out binoculars and was trying to look at the people there to see if I could find him, and I didnt see him. At least I don't think I did.

So me and my female friend went down to the area anyway. It was inside now, and no longer outside. Hugh Hefner was there, and he was my friend's father. We talked to him for a bit and when he found out I was from Texas/ going back to TX he asked me to find out if Jessica Simpson was going to break up with her husband or not? Something like that, he wanted me to tell him if I found out any news about her, because clearly- since I am from TX I would have insider knowledge. Haha I just kinda laughed and nodded and said "sure thing." But later I did come across her breaking up with her husband or something similar. She was still with Nick L. in my dream... but I guess not for long ! I remember wanting to tell Hugh, but I dont recall if I ever did.

While I was down with the people, I did find out that Ben had been there, but eventually left.

Tornado Alley

I was in a building with many rooms, stairs, levels etc. There were a lot of other people there, as well, but not always around me.

There were two or three tornadoes far away headed in our direction. I was scouring the building for the best place to lay low when it hit. I found a place that was ok, but it had a ton of windows along one wall and it was very open and I preferred some place smaller. There was a closet-like place in the room, and I chose to go there. At this time people were coming in and lying face down on the pavement for the best protection from the tornado. I also layed face down.

I started thinking this was really not the best place for me to be, and I left for another option. When the tornado hit, I could see a huge explosion come from the room I was just in. At one time, I was complaining to someone that the people in charge would send them to a room lined with windows and and an explosive tank in it. What morons I said. I think the explosive was a hot water heater or something, in any case it exploded when hit by the tornado or debris. Either I looked in the room or someone else did, and there were a ton of people dead and burned up in there. I didnt SEE inside the room in my dream, so it either really wasnt me, or I watched myself look in the room.

The person who looked in the room made the suggestion we dont go in there to find the survivors and we let them crawl their way out (seriously? but i agreed anyway, a little reluctantly, and we left for another room).

I think we found a place with many other survivors and maybe stayed there a while.

Huh?

I barely remember the dream save for bits and pieces.

So, I shall commence with the details from which I can pull.

Tim Roth was driving me around. I think we were sort of on a date? He had asked me if he could be allowed to go on dates with me exclusively? Or something similar- It was a randomly worded way of asking to be exclusive, and I just kinda didn't know how to respond. I don't think I ever gave him an answer, but I remember thinking this was barely a date and a first time at that, so why? I think we were headed to the movies....

There was a small hole-in-the-wall type bar/grill place that I kept going back to in my dream. I am pretty sure they served hot wings... (hehe) And I believe there was "Buffalo Wild Wings" referenced at some time, so maybe that was what it was supposed to be.

There was a main street outside of the bar, and since it was night there was not much traffic. I think when Tim was driving, he was heading into oncoming traffic or not driving very well. I think we went into the bar's drive-way just in time to avoid people.

At one point, I was dragging my car behind me into the grill's parking lot. I think it was the same car Tim was using to drive us around. It was a smaller version of a vehicle, though. It was white, but it was more like a station-wagon type body. Not a civic. I was trying to find a place to drag it and leave it as if I had parked it. The first place I tried it would fit, but I couldnt physically un-park it and drive away.

The parking lot was fenced in with tall metal chain-link fencing and it was grass and gravel, not paved. I saw there was plenty of open space to park, so I moved on and I dont think I ever even parked it. I do remember the other vehicles in the lot were huge pick-up trucks, and there were only about 4-6 total cars in the small lot.

All of my dream took place at night/ dark and everything was wet, but I don't recall any actual rain.

I have a feeling that my dad was in the dream at some time, or my parents... but I can't place anything. Just a feeling. The feeling also that they were the ones referencing the wild wing place. And I can kind of picture my sister waiting outside the building with my family, but I could be making it up. I also have a feeling there was another guy in the dream, but thats even more vague than my family.

Sad Face

So I was with Justen and we were driving around. I was planning on staying at his place and was figuring on whether I could bring Baxter or not. Justen didnt want me to, but I didnt want to leave Baxter alone. I hadnt been to J's place but I was picturing a very run down large open warehouse type place.

We were in my area (although nothing looked familiar) and I keot having to tell him which way to turn. He was late in everything and also kept driving over curbs and missing the driveways. Later in the dream, however, he was speeding and taking every turn too fast with minimal slowing and I kept thinking we were going to hit curbs and maybe people or buidings, but mostly just curbs. Haha

J and I were at the store buying things to consume over the next day or two. And He got Mountain Dews while I got Sunkist ! Dream world. The store was like a convenient store, really, and the cash register was in the center of the store. I remember grabbing other things and putting them in the basket, but I dont know what they were. There was a small room attached to the building that was full of fresh veggies and fruits. I was getting things for sandwiches. I was looking at onions and trying to find tomatoes. I couldnt find them for the life of me. I think Anna comes in some time around when I am in the place. She is talking about meeting us where we are going, but either earlier or later.

While looking for veggies I finally spot the tomatoes and ask J if he prefers cherry tomatoes or sliced ones, and he says sliced. I look at the plant with the large tomatoes and it was dying and all the tomatoes were rotting, so I said "tough luck" and went for the cherry tomatoes. I had clippers or scissors and they, at first I thought, were growing on Fuzz (Anna's cat) and I was clipping at Fuzz. I started to get one of his claws because it was so long, or maybe it had a cherry tomato attached to it, I dont rightly know. I couldnt get it cut and moved on to the real bush of tomatoes that I saw and I guess cut some. I dont know.

While in the main part of the store, I see a guy at the check-out with very stunning eyes and a familiar face. I look away and think "I know that guy" and I look back and I dont remember who recognizes who first, but it was James Molinari from Duel. We hug and exchange a few words, and then life moves on. I remember later saying goodbye to James and Andrew Roth, but now James is probably Justin Tully as I was about to say "theyre not even from the same movie set" and then realized that they WERE from the same set. We were exchanging goodbyes and making on-set inside jokes.

Now I dont remember if I bumped into him or if Justen turned into him, but now I am riding around and maybe even in the store? with Jared J. I remember I was to stay at his place and we were deciding on whether or not I should bring Baxter. It's very much like I was reliving the beginning with Justen, but ... it was different. Naturally. At one point we were making out and he said something about him wanting to avoid the dire consequences of not being able to spend the next day or two together. In the dream, I took it that it was important to be together for that time, I suppose because it was all we had and we needed more? Maybe to see if things could progress. Something like that. And part of me also was thinking he was going to try to have sex with me. And wherever we were kissing- he had started to make it go there, but knowing that it wouldnt or couldnt. He then stopped and said "You are so perfect" and I hid my face because I didnt know what to say to that. And he said "You are so perfect, I only need to lay here with you" Or something. I was so sad and confused and couldnt say a thing because I didnt know what to make of what was going on.

Almost all forgotten

It's now evening, and I am sure that I have forgotten most of my dream...

I was with Marilyn and we were walking around a mall doing some shopping. We had booked a private room in which we were supposed to do some studying, research, writing, or make a powerpoint or presentation or something educationally productive. We never did and we decided not to do it at all in the end.

At one point we were looking at buying some Chuck Taylors and my sister was not happy with the prices. She tried to find a cheaper price and I think she found one at a price she liked and I remember thinking she could get one cheaper still.

I remember being in the room and either it led to outside or I could see outside and it was wilderness like a swampy lake with some white/purple flowers growing in it. It looked like it could use some rain to fill the area up some, but it was not extremely desolate.

I remember driving in my car. I wanted to turn a left or do a U-Turn. I was behind a big truck like a garbage truck and they did a turn, I subsequently turned after them. But he was turning in a way that made my turning run into his, and we crashed. He was very upset with me, even though he wasnt very smart with his driving choice on his turn. But neither here nor there. This man was now after me.

I remember being across the street of my parents house and the garbage truck man had sent some people over (i dont think he was one himself). I had called my parents and my mom answered. I warned her that these men coming to their door were there to kill my dad. I had counted 6 of them, but there were more showing up every second. They were all wearing long tan trench coats and walking up individually. They did not come together and they did not all go inside the house. Only around 6 - 9 went inside and another 5 - 7 stayed outside.

There were still some waiting outside the house when all was "finished." and By finished, I mean some people came out of my parents house signifying the ordeal was over. I swear it was my mom and dad and another person or two. They were dumping a ton of bodies into a huge open pit in the front yard. I remember crying and saying to my sister "Do you wan to go over there and say goodbye to mother and daddy?" Because they were probably going to die from their injuries.

So we went over there and who I thought was my dad was not my dad at all. And my sister said "There is Daddy, I see his face." And she was pointing in the huge pit (that didnt look like it had bodies in it) and there was a vertical body-sized lump of dirt on one wall of the pit. Like a lump of dirt would be over a grave.. if the grave were vertical and on a wall instead of horizontal and on the ground.

My mother had lost her legs from the knee down. Mostly skin and muscle, I think she still had her leg bones (but no feet).

Only one thing

So, the ONLY thing I remember from my dream(s) last night is Ben Rhudy getting very angry with me about seeing David Ruiz's myspace. He had another girl with him, though, and went over to her and I think kissed? I didnt see it, though. I just remember thinking why is he so pissed at me when he has that girl? I do remember feeling very sorry and wished that I could make things better.

I had a few dreams....

The first dream... Christian A, Luke G, and David Browne (along with some others that I don't know or don't remember) had made me a video. They evidently all worked for some company that had a boat.. the video was shot on the boat. Maybe they all worked on the boat, and maybe it was the navy. Who knows. I remember saying I was amazed that I got that video because what I had asked for or "meant" to recieve was a still photograph of water. And I get those guys making fools of themselves on a boat that looks like it might be crashing or in a big storm.

I guess they go back to work or whatnot, and the "video" is actually us on the boat, but they go away. I go inside the building that the boat is attached to. It's large and there are some people working. I meander my way to a place where I am to get my picture taken (I have no idea why). There are very few people ahead of me to get their picture taken, but soon the place is overrun with folks, and I never get my picture taken. I remember sending texts to C and D to tell them I was downstairs getting my picture taken so maybe they would come say hello and keep me company.

I also remember another room nearby the one with the photography lady. It wasn't a cafeteria but it did have sinks?? At least one large sink. I remember washing my hands in the sink, and I had filth in my mouth and wanted to get it out. I was pulling it out with my hands and spitting it, but it wouldnt go away. It was like grainy mucus that was all inside my mouth. So gross. I didnt want to swallow it and couldnt get it all out of my face. I think David comes in to find his wallet, but this is where I stop remembering things... except I do remember after being in THIS room I went to get my photo taken and it was closing time. The lady was going to squeeze me in and I said "only if you have to, because I can go somewhere else another time and pay someone to do it"

---------------------------

Now I really am in a cafeteria. There is a group of people I am with, and I don't know who any of them are upon waking. I see the place is making these huge taco-shaped things either filled with taco ingredients or cheese, like a quesadilla. And I wanted one, it looked so good ! Who can say no to cheese? When it's my turn to order the worker says something about the specials and she can give me a # or call a # to find out. And I didnt really hear her, so I asked "What is the special?" And she said "Let me get Linda's number and call her" (I think her name was Linda). I didnt care about the special, I wanted cheese ! She disappeared and about a million hours later someone returns to take my order. I am very irritated because no one wants to serve me, and we are running out of time to eat. So I tell the lady I want one of the cheese things if it's not too much trouble (after she suggests some sort of sweet soup) and she jokingly makes a comment about that being trouble, and I said "Forget it, just give me whatever is the easiest and quickest to make" And she said "I could make you a salad?" and I dont want one, but I say "Fine" and walk around to the counter to pay. My purse is filled with water, ice, and clear plastic utensils. I go back to where I ordered to get my billfold that I left there. I never pay, and I see someone has put tater tots and a strip of bacon on the counter. I think "A salad comes with tots and bacon?" And then a kid takes his hamburger and tots and leaves... I am irritated that SOMEONE ELSE GETS FOOD AFTER I ASK FOR THE EASIEST THING TO MAKE. I am still irittated ! (Clearly).

No time to remember

Khao Tep was in my dream. I was at a table signing with him, yet he was also across the room being watched like a performer or something? Maybe on TV... either way, I am not sure if this was simultaneous or not.

Random bits I remember: I was going to a movie, I think with someone. It was a re-memory of sorts... I was wondering if the movie was going to be showing, even though the internet claimed it was still playing in the theater.

There was a wealthy family, a guy in an orange scion getting his car cleaned, a many jumping up into trees to avoid rocks I was throwing at a neihgbors house (to get their attention) that backfired in the opposite direction. There was a mother or grandmother of the wealthy family.. who I feel like I was running from because she was evil??

My parents were there before all of this, and so were dogs. I think Raven was around, too. Baxter was surely there,

It's raining bird poo

I don't remember much. I remember walking through an old run-down building. I was on an elevator going somewhere (dunno where) and The elevator roof was dripping water. As soon as I figured out it was dripping on me, I took a step over and then it started to downpour. I managed to get off the elevator shortly afterward. I also remember there were birds flying around. I never saw or heard the birds, but I knew when I thought they were near, I would duck and cover my head with my hands so they wouldnt poop on me.

Steve Zissou and family, too

From the first things that I can remember I was with my mother and I think my sister was there too. My mother wanted me to do something with her that I wasn't too interested in (cleaning or house chores or something, it was a task more than an activity). So I said something along the lines of "Well, I have to go meet Mcihelle and Mikaylynn" But then I remembered them saying something about being busy until 4 or not doing anything until 4 and it ws only 2, so I stayed.

Eventually I did leave and met up with Michelle and Mikaylynn. I was driving in this parking lot area to get to their place and there were a lot of people necking in the cars. It was dark out and my headlights startled the neckers.

Mich, Mik, and I were doing something sneaky, like looking in cars. We were doing some sort of detective-like work although I have no idea why. I figured out that she only preferred 4 because it was safer for Mikaylynn or something, and I realized I could have left my mother's when I wanted since she wasnt doing something else before then.

When we were through Michelle asked me to put some things in their Avalanche truck bed (Marilyn has the blue Av, not them !). So I went to the parking area and out of the 20 cars that were there, about 6 of them were Avs and two of them blue. But I eventually figured which one was theirs and put the umbrella in the cooler that was next to their truck. I had another item, it may have been a food item, and I think I put it in the cooler too.

It was about this time my brother enters, I think. I remember playing video games and I am not sure if I started with video games. He introduces me to his friend, who I have never met in real life and looks like no one I know, but he actually had a name in my dream. It was Steve something or something Stephens... they both seem right so maybe it was Steve Stephens !

He was incredibly nerdy with curly hair that was too long and made it a little fro-ish and HUGE blue-rimmed glasses. I was very attracted to him, though, and we kinda hit it off. We then were playing video games, and I dont know if my brother was playing still but he was at least still there on the other side of me on the couch.

I remember Steve had made me sign some paper indicating that we had met on that day. It seemed very legal, but I have no idea what purpose that it would serve. He drove a white car, like a civic or beamer, but I dont know which. I remember later pulling out a toy car that was his and showing it to someone. I also remember reading something on a paper that people had said about him and us or ... ?? I dont really remember much other than READING it and seeing his name. I also remember something about him having a lot of money. My brother made the comment of "If he needed $1,000 he wouldnt get it out of his savings" and I dont really know waht that means, but basically I took it as that was a trifling amount of money to the guy.

Thats all I remember for now.

Two Separate Threads

I had two dreams, and I can barely remember the second at this point but I hope the first one hits me later.

The second dream .... I can't even rightly explain. I was in a house that was constantly moving and changing... and the things inside of it... it was as though there were constant performances. The TV was on in real life for church and a lot of the performances were like speeches or presentations and dealt with religion. Haha Go figure. The second to last room I was in there were many mannequins or figures kind of like clowns moving about. Two-dimensional and moving about in a line like the ducks you shoot with a gun at the fair. Baxter was with me and was getting scared, so we left. And the last guy was talking about his trip to Israel and how it will CHANGE ! YOUR ! LIFE ! (he was not the first to use that phrase). I noticed one of the pictures he had for his poster board presentation was of something that was perviously in the dream and in another room. I also remember the photos in my dream (and the ones I mention later) were moving a little. They were not stills, but were not like motion pictures. It was slow and slight movements but they were there.

Throughout the dream, I was changing rooms a lot and the things in the room were changing. At one point I went outside to get in my car and drive off... I went to my car that was across the street where I know I had left it and when I get to the car I realize it is not my car at all. My car is on the street right in front of the house I was in. I didnt go anywhere and I didnt even do anything with my car, I think. But I couldnt figure out why it was THERE and not where I was sure I had left it.

This part doesn't really feel like it was a part of the dream I am going over now, but I don't believe it was the first dream... There were a lot of people around. I remember seeing a photo of Ben with two girls laying or sitting on top of him. There was another with him and a girl and another couple or girl... he was holding one of the girl's hands in one of the photos. Later someone (I think Jordan) was talking about how some girl and Ben were kissing, but this girl was not attractive .... She wasn't someone people really liked at all, so it was weird. That's why I think it was a topic of discussion because it was like "why??" And I was there just listening, trying not to care. Clearly I didn't want to hear those things, but don't remember if I got up and left or just woke up or what. That's really just a segment of a dream that I remember that has no segue in or out.

I keep wanting to call it "Soffe"

I dreamed I was fired from PNC via a letter sent down from headquarters. Joy and Linda were a little upset and thought it unfair, but such is life- they could not help me. The letter didn't say why, but I think Linda or Joy told me it was because I made 3 errors in 3 weeks and never hit "high marks" whatever that meant, and it wasn't my speed.

I had been at the back and was crying and didnt want to leave through the front door because people would see I was crying. So naturally, I get in my car in the back of the building and drive away... on streets.

I kept speeding trying to get myself around cars and into the lane that I thought I needed to be in, but never could make it over around traffic. I speed up to the next intersection to turn left and the arrows are not turning they are pointing at me. I am going head on into oncoming traffic. Wonderful. So i make it over to the straight lanes again, speedily of course.

Eventually, I go straight enough to realize I can probably take some back roads to get home as long as the military base ends up on my left. I try to look at a map and it's too far back to see any detail of the area I am in.

Now I am in water on a yellow floaty. The waves are pickup up and knocking me around. I didnt want my arms or feet to get into the water because a shark might see me and eat me. I could see shore about 50 yards away, but could not get there. I look to the sky and see a man floating like on a floaty up in the clouds. The sky was ripply like bubble wrap and I was thinking "that is what I look like to a shark" and the man looked down on me, confused. As though he were questioning what I was doing there (as though his situation were more normal).

Eventually I make it to the shore and I want to deflate tha floaty but there is a wild animal right in front of me. I don't want to make noise because he might kill me. He resembled a black bear through all the brush. He runs off and I see it is a large brown kangaroo instead. I am relieved. I see a plastic bucket /tupperware that housed a microcosm of that particular area... of sorts.

I realize now I am on or near a kangaroo farm. There is another young girl (12 yrs or so) around me. She was a little unruly and unkempt, very tomboy and a little like a runaway. The guy that was just up in the clouds comes before us. I recognize him from the clouds, but I don't think he recognized me... maybe he wasn't really in the clouds at all, but I started to think he was on land looking in the microcosm at me in the water... in the microcosm.

We walk to the farm area and some kids and I (assuming I am still there at this point ant not just watching) are chasing the tomboy girl. She jumps a fence and evidently wins a game... or loses? I couldnt quite figure out if we were trying to get her to NOT jump the fence or see who could make it over the fence first?

I think I left this place, because it wasn't home and I still needed to make my way... but I don't remember any more.

But are they to be trusted?

This dream was from a few nights ago, and I am finally getting around to writing what I can remember of it....

There was me and a small group of others who were something like "the last ones alive" but I think we were hiding out. The only person I recognize was Eric Kaustel (Sp?) From Aflac. I think we had little cubicles where we all slept and lived individually...

Later there were more people. I met this guy who was really keen on me. His mother did not like me and her opinion was very important. Then he assured me she would like me once she saw how all of the guys would find me "fetching" at this gathering, dinner, club or something along those lines (I believe fetching was the word used in the dream). Anyway, I thought that was odd for a mother to want that of a future daughter in law.

But then it was brought to my attention that not many people were people anymore and these two might actually be zombies like the rest of the world and they didn't know it yet or weren't showing the signs.

Acting in the Supermarket

So I was with a group of actors. We were filming... or they were filming around us. It was not my turn to film nor the people in my small group. They were filming a classroom scene behind us. There was a very large girl in my group and some other people. I remember there were males although I dont remember anything about any of them. I don't think I knew anyone in my dream.

I was driving up on an outdoors set, driving over tiretracks that demolished the grass underneath. I remembered in my dream a guy had done that the day before. I had weird music in my car and the windows were down. People were still asleep and I may have woken some up. I parked... I dont remember anything else from that.

I remember going to the supermarket to get groceries. I was looking at boxes to make a dessert. I found a lot but none were awesome enough for me to waste money on until I found the box for Tiramisu. I think I got that box. I was getting in the checkout with two small white white-clothe-lined baskets with handles instead of grocery bags or the recycle friendly tote bags. Dont know why. I was at the counter with the large girl. Just as the cashier finished scanning every item, I remembered I needed eggs and cheese. And I couldnt find the eggs worth anything so I went back to the counter and the large girl had left. I think with my credit card or something. I dont know for sure, but I remember thinking that and also thinking "Well, she wont get far before that thing is maxed out." Haha

Thats about it for that dream.

From Sept 1

My own personl "Journey to the Center of the Earth" with family and colorful jumping fish. Powerlines housing black cartoon creatures falling into the watery expanse. Rooms with boxes. Being followed while making my own pathway amongst rooms, stealing cookies while currently eating something. Brother and Grandmother.

Baxter makes a friend

I was staying at someone's house. Living there, almost permanently? I am not sure. I know I was there with another person (Person), I feel like that person was male. A complete blank on "who" at this time.

The owners were a couple, I don't think they were married. I feel like me and Person had to sleep on the floor with a bunch of blankets and sleeping bags. There was one point when me and Person drove up to the place and I had to get out of the car and push buttons to get in. It was closed up like a store would with big metal coverings. The buttons made them get out of the way. It was very much like all of us were living in a garage.

The owners were wanting to get a dog. After I had come home ( I think the driving up in the car) the owner lady was there and was upset with me that I was not there sooner because she wanted to pick up the dog they had I guess ordered or picked out. Owner lady had a friend with her that was going to help her. She was upset because she felt she couldnt leave Baxter or he'd poop on the floor. I told her she didnt have to worry because he's a dog and can handle being alone. I told her she should take the black sleeping bag that Baxter slept on so the new dog would know his smell when he comes in and it would make the transition easier.

So she left and came back with the dog and her friend. Evidently they had taken Baxter with them because the two dogs came inside together and were playing. The dog they got was a dark amber color. I dont know what kind of dog it was, but it had long hair and was a medium-sized build, like Baxter's size.

I just remembered Justen was in my dream. We were upstais in a bedroom. There were a couple of other people around us. He was leaving to go downstairs and do something or go sleep or ... I dont remember what. He said I should join I think? I feel like there was a game or texting involved with his leaving. I am pretty sure he is not Person.

--SLEEP. DREAM. WAKE UP. BACK ASLEEP ANOTHER DREAM. WAKE UP.--
What a cycle.

Back asleep, dreaming of me in my old bedroom off Milby. I was with Rand Winfrey, like seriously? Where the eff did THAT come from? We were in a relationship and we were trying to do something. I don't remember what it was. We were in one of my old twin beds, but I am quite sure the dream wasn't sexual. We were distressed and struggling to figure something out or make something work. That's what it feels like.

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I feel like this is a recurring dream. I expected something to happen in the end because I was thinking "I had this dream before." but these things I expected didn't happen. Interesting.

I was in a large room of people. The main part was stadium seating. There was a main guy who was bombing everything over and over. He kept trying to kill the group of us and we kept avoiding it for the most part. So I don't remember how the place we were got to be indoor stadium seating, because I just now realize we were outside by a lake before anything else. There was a boat. I think they had bombed something and there was one dynamite stick explosive thing left. And one of the main guy's minions was leaving and said 'We should have one stick (candle?) left and when I get back it had better be here." Me and one other person who I was with saw it was on the boat. I think it was brother Andrew at this point. We gave each other a look like "Ok, whatever, idiot." and pretended to look for the explosive stick (it really does look like a long skinny candle.) We were looking all over the shoreline and ground for these explosives and this is about when the place turned from a lake into the stadium seating indoor room. We found a lot of duds and a few useable explosives. The good ones had a tiny little very thin metal wire sticking up about 1/5 of an inch. Since the "one left" was on the boat, we were saving these explosives for ourselves for a kind of war. We hid them behind a tool box and it was an almost too obvious spot that I figured we would get found.

I remember another girl with our group looking for some. I think it was Marilyn but it did not look like her. She was pale with long white blond hair. At the back of the stadium seating was a room that was leveled out with flat floor. And to the left was another leveled room on the same level as the back one. And when Main guy would bomb, we would know it was coming and run into that area where there was a hallway with a door. The blond girl would sometimes stand near the doorway while bombing happened and keep the door open. Idiot !! There was another door there I found out was a bathroom, but I always ran in there to hide. One time I ran in there and Kyle was in there and just had finished using the bathroom. He was also in our group, and I think takes the place of Andrew, but I dont know when that happened.

There were now a ton of people in the stadium seating and back rooms. Most of them didnt really know what was going on and just kind of stood around when the bombings happened. Maybe they didnt know it was about to happen, I don't know.

Marilyn I think was supposed to take Main guy out some cigarettes to smoke. She had three and they were very small and home-wrapped. I showed her an explosive that was the same size as those cigarettes and suggested she blow him up with lighting one of those. She motioned of hiding it in one of her hands and lighting it when lighting a cigarette and said "Care for a light?" I had the idea we wrap it in the paper and pass it off as one and he can light it and blow his face up.

As I was tearing a receipt to get some white paper to wrap it, he comes back in and sees me. He knows I am up to something and asks what. Since I was ripping paper I picked up a flyer that I think one of our group had placed around the building. There was a stack of them and it was anti-main guy propoganda and I picked one up, made a sad face and said "Ripping these up." He seemed leery but accepted that explanation and walked away. Plan foiled?

I still had the paper and went and sat next to some girl with blond hair with bangs and a purple sporty shirt with white piping, I think she was wearing a skirt. I kind of knew her and asked her to lean forward to block my view from main guy while I rolled the explosive. He was watching me and she was trying to block me but couldnt do it. I could feel my hands in his sight and he probably knew what I was about to do. I was whispering in this girl's ear to get her to move more because I was not blocked and someone came up and evidently touched her on the shoulder. It was some older black male with a big smile. He said something to her and she did not know him or BARELY knew him and was confused why he came up and touched her shoulder to get her attention. He wasnt saying anything that made sense to either one of us, and I knew I should get away. So I ran to the bathroom and a bomb went off.

I was talking on the phone with my mom telling her the layout of the place and that I would go into the bathroom to hide from the bombs, and I knew as soon as I said it that someone probably had the phone bugged and knew where I was hiding, and I told my mom that on the phone too. Needless to say I didnt think it was safe in that place anymore and didnt hide there. I remember going there about 5 or 6 times, but cannot remember each bombing's circumstance.

I remember something about a book being bugged or bombed, maybe throwing it? I remember knowing about a bombing and not being able to tell Kyle because his sunglasses were bugged, and I think he died because of a bombing.

I was out of the stadium room into the rest of the building out the doors at the front left of the room. It was like a school in the rest of the place. I was with a group of older people, maybe teachers? They were at high tables I think eating a lunch or something. This group of old women were talking about "you are who you are and you can't really change that or you can make small changes, but you deal with what you've got because it's all youve got and you cant get anything else" or something similar. I remember looking over and an older black man was playing with his forehead. There was an abnormal amount of skin there and he was repositioning it. His actions went along with whatever the women were saying I remember.

I think this is where I was handed a receipt with a very long number on it at the end. The number was very familiar and I was trying to figure out WHY. I knew someone was telling me something with it. I was walking away going back down the hall looking at the numbers on the receipt trying to remember why they were important when the first digits started changing. The top number scrolls and stopped at 7. The one below it scrolled and stopped at 6 and the one below the same action to a 5, I knew it was a countdown and ran out of the building across the street. I made it pretty far those last 4 second and the building blew up.I didnt look back at it but heard it and felt it.

It's as though I went back into the building before the bombing, but it was definitely afterward in my dream sequence. But I was revisiting my last actions, I think?? I was leaving the stadium room out of those doors when this girl was following me with some clothing (skirt and dress) for me as a gift. The girl looks a lot like I do and I think she was wearing my brown striped dress I got from Dillards with my sister. I did not notice these things while dreaming, only now after being awake.

I refused the clothing she offered because I figured they were housing explosives waiting to be blown. She kept following me and said "I have strict orders not to leave your side." And I remember thinking that this happened in the dream before and I pleaded with her that if she were a good friend she would leave me alone or something like that and she left. But that did not happen in this dream she just kept following me. I think I toyed with the idea of taking the clothes and throwing them in a wastebin and walking out of the building, but I dont know that I ever did that because I wouldnt want to be responsible for blowing the building up without letting innocent people know. Somehow I left.

It just now hit me that after the building blows up again (from the dress incident, I dont remember how it happened) that I was watching it was a movie. It turned from me being in it to discussing it as a movie after it was finished? Anyway, I made a comment about the receipt count down and the dress thing's timing being interesting and now knowing how that worked out. Someone concurred slightly but said "But it DOES make sense in the end." and another girl on the floor looks up at my surprised and says "You couldn't tell what the cute parts were in the movie? There were a ton of cute parts." and I remember thinking 'youre an idiot that is not what I said at all, were you even LISTENING?' but I said calmly, "No, that is not what I was saying..." and I tried to remember what i was saying and couldnt. I dont know if someone chimed in to help me but I think I wanted someone to do that if someone didnt. This is about where I wake up.

The other thing I remember was "supposed to happen in this dream" but didnt was there were small bathrooms or closet stalls of some sort in the hallway out the doors in the front left of the stadium seating. I knew something important or big was supposed to happen in one of them. I dont know if it was Kyle and I (or just Kyle) were to die there? Or we were to save everyone and the place in there. But I didnt go in one of the stalls, or if I did... nothing big happened.

Tennis and Zooey

So I had three dreams this morning, and I barely remember two of them.

The first: I only remember people playing tennis. I dont know if I was playing and I am quite sure I wasnt...but walking by a lot of people who were....

Second: I remember being with my dad and we were walking or had driven to a store and were buying things. I remember being at the cash register.... Maybe it was the same visit as this but I remember seeing Zooey Deschanel at a store when I was with my brother. she was on her way out. We were friends evidently and we said hello. After my brother and I had made our purchases we were walking out and saw Zooey at the door I think she was waiting for us. She started walking with us and we were talking. I think she was interesed in my brother. They were doing most of the talking.

We are in a mall now and Z was going to Starbucks. She went way ahead of us and I said to my brither "If you were thinking of buying her drink, we had better hurry" and we started hurrying. Haha However, she was already seated by the time we got there. Starbucks was getting busy so Z suggested we leave and we did and were walking down the mall more.

That's all I remember at this point.

Dream Journal !

So I think I am making this my dream journal. Because let's face it- I will not take the time to physically write out my dreams anymore. But I still love reminiscing those times.


This morning I kept waking up, falling asleep, and dreaming. They are usually the more fun dreams. I can only remember the last dream, however, at this time.

I was staying at someone's house... I did not know these people well. I know things happened randomly and seemingly - there is no order. So I will relate them in which I think they may have occured?

I was needing to change clothes, for whatever reason. So the owner-lady and her son?? were leaving and put me in a room to change. The room was full of windows and the son was in the room with me trying to block some windows with tinted windows and the owner lady was in the hallway doing the same thing. But there were still so many windows. So I tried crouching near a wall without windows to change. I guess I managed to do it?

I remember looking outside and a police officer (i suppose) had pulled up behind a trucker who got out of his cabin. The trucker had a little boy with him. I think the trucker was making the little boy do things that were bad. The cop made the man and the boy get on the front lawn of the house I was in. The boy was looking in the window at me kinda scared. And the trucker had a few of his buddies who were trying to intimidate the boy. I motioned to the boy to talk to the cop and tell him everything. So the boy started to I guess and two of the truckers threw their keys at the window and broke a window pane or two. Clearly they were not happy with my interference.

I was in the hallway with my sister. It was Friday (today) and she was off work. She was getting her girls ready to be taken on a "walk" around the block in their red covered wagon (something my mom does, not my sister). I saw Addie sleeping on the couch and didn't want to wake her yet, but accidentally woke her.

I was outside on the front lawn at a patio table with some other people. The owner lady was one and I don't know who else. I think it was all women. The truckers were all still outside and I was on the phone with the police to report what I had seen. I didnt tell the lady on the phone the address (because it was not my house and I didnt know it yet) or my name. The trucker men were leaving (there were maybe 6-10 men each with their own car). I was telling the lady on the phone that the men were leaving, but I had two of their keys. I realized that no one was left and I said "Well, they must have gotten their spare keys because no one is here anymore. They all left."

As I was on the phone I got up from the table and was walking toward the front door to get the address so I could tell her. I found one and started to tell her, but then realized it was the neighbors house and not the house I was staying in. So I walked to that front door. The lady asked me on the phone "Is this your second time calling for this matter?" And I said "No." The lady transfers me to someone else who is a man. I am going inside the house at this point and still havent given anyone an address or anything. This man is to take my information down. for some reason I now have red candy in my mouth. Like fireballs, but theyre sweet...more like the strawberry candies that are all gummy. Anyway, I had about 6-10 of those in my mouth (how did they get there? and WHY??) and I am unable to tell the guy ANYTHING. I realize this and realize my time is running low so I try to pull them all out of my mouth so I can tell him ANYTHING. But I can't get them all out, and am gumming/mumbling my way through communication with this man. I can mumble out my name and the first 6 digits of my phone number. As I round the corner for the last four I am completely unintelligible. So irritating. Eventually I am off the phone and realize I probably got nothing accomplished. I remember walking my way through the hallway where my sister was formerly preparing the children (and this is where the gumminess communication happened). I continued thru the hallway and ended up at the kitchen sink where the owner-man was standing. I with my candy in my left hand and a phone in the right, looking pathetic and frustrated, get a sympahetic chuckle from him.

I am outside with a bunch of people. Mostly there are little kids (13 and under, about 10 of them( and there are a few older people (17 and older, about 5 of us). We were all on a front cement stoop/porch area. I was sitting next to a guy (felt like Ben, but looked like no one I know. There really wasnt a face, actually, it was a really skinny body). Anyway, we were being told and telling stories. Similar to the labyrinth, where the wild things are, princess bride, etc. Something familiar and fantastical. I was a little sleepy and put my arm into the guy's next to me and laid my head on his shoulder. He said "Aww, are you nuzzling?" And I said "yes" even though I knew it wasn't technically nuzzling. Haha Which is probably why he then said "That's not nuzzling. Nuzzling is much closer" and he opened his body toward me and I nuzzled. I looked over and another guy was looking at me. The two guys knew each other and I wanted to say they were brothers (This one was akin to Elijah Wood). The other one looked sad, and I felt I had betrayed him? Although I couldnt imagine why, other than he wished I was nuzzling him. Haha Weird?

That's about all I can remember.

You Can't Trust a Ladder

I need a positive distraction. Like nieces and sister and parents. Something to keep me going.

Don't worry, I'll ....

I have not been this PEACEFULLY happy in so long. I think I have finally sorted much of this poo out in my brain and heart and soul.... Thank the Lord for giving me strength when I don't deserve anything from Him.

I dont want to destroy His gifts and need to stop taking advantage of His patience and love and GRACE and forgiveness...

Lead me now.

Moving along, they're getting rid of Latin.

I think soon I should write a letter to myself to sort through all this shit in my head.

When I am of sober and sound mind, though... because I don't want it full of dramas.

Life as I know it

So apart from being slipped a roofie, having my first broken arm, (both totaling about 4 hospital visits), making poor decisions in general, dealing with living in a ghetto-fabulous neighborhood, and breaking someone's heart... my life isn't all that bad.

Really, the past few weeks have sucked. I do feel the upward turn of good fortune, and needless to say it's about time. My birthday is in a week- it better be fucking brilliant.

Take Two.

So I started a post, but due to user error and computer stupidness, the browser was closed prematurely.

To keep it short, I have a large, very painful knot/bruise in my left arm's wrist area. I was playing softball and was trying to catch a ball coming at me. I wasn't in a good position to catch it (ok, I was scared and I suck at softball), so instead I blocked it by standing in front of it.. and my arm was smashed. It very much still hurts and I have little motion that it can withstand without heading into the "severe pain" category. On the positive side - It's kinda neat to see everything that can be done with one hand/arm. Haha




-That's a pipeline.

First ... Blog?

Magnum.